


There's Distance Between Us

by lonelynation



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Crimes & Criminals, F/F, Gen, Long-Distance Relationship, Phone Calls & Telephones, Slow Burn, Wanderlust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22140475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelynation/pseuds/lonelynation
Summary: Lexa runs away at 16 and meets Anya, who successfully tempts her to a life of crime. Years later, Lexa still feels lost. She steals a car and goes on a road trip across the US. However, the car belongs to Clarke Griffin and she won't stop calling Lexa. An unlikely bond slowly forms in between the distance.ORA Clexa AU Story that includes a soul searching road trip, long-distance friendship to relationship, phone conversations and Clarke demanding her car back from a thieving dick Lexa. Oh, and a lot of internal Lexa thoughts.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 39
Kudos: 146





	1. Prologue: Dog Days Are Over

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to do a different version of my old Faberry EBTD fic for Clexa. Same theme but backstory and conversations will be changed to better fit Lexa and Clarke.
> 
> Chapters will be titled after songs from my own personally made ficmix. 
> 
> Story title is from Between Us by Peter Bradley Adams which is the perfect theme song for this story. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Lexa purchased her first bus ticket at the age of 16 with only a backpack hanging off her shoulders. She could no longer tolerate her total lack of control over her own life while in the foster system. It had been too many years of false hopes, disappointment, and feeling like she wasn't meant to be truly loved by anyone.

There had been moments where she felt loved but it never seems to last for long.

Those moments were the most painful to deal with. It left her crushed and with the feeling of never being enough.

Half a year ago was when it completely broke her.

For four years, she actually grew to believe that she was, in fact, enough because she had found the perfect foster family. Her foster parents were kind, loving, and always did their best to make each day feel special.

They hadn't tried to force her to act a certain way or mold her into being someone else. She could finally rediscover who she was as a person. It had been so long feeling lost. They hadn't emotionally or physically harmed her. She had received the warmest hugs and praises. There were even talks about officially adopting her.

She even got to have a best friend.

Costia.

She lived right across the street from her. At first, they only exchanged shy waves and smiles during the summer. She would finally learn her name and speak to her on her first day of school. Costia chose to plop down next to her on the school bus and introduced herself.

“This is way overdue. My name's Costia.” She had smiled brightly at her. “Your eyes are even prettier up close.”

Lexa had swallowed nervously, not understanding why her heart began to race. She didn't know how to respond to compliments yet but it made her feel really nice.

“Lexa is mine.”

She quietly introduced herself in return with a small crooked smile. She hadn't known that Costia was going to turn out to be the second best thing that ever happened to her.

It was four blissful years with her parents and a best friend that would be her first love before it all went to hell.

It was simply cruel to have been given all that love, hope, and then it was all unexpectedly torn away from her because of one single decision that was made by her parents.

It left her in a deep depressive state for months. She felt utterly destroyed. Whoever Lexa had been when she was with them, she was lost forever now. Gone.

It took her longer than she wanted to put her plan in motion again. It would have to be revised to include only her going off on her own. All alone on the open roads.

That was fine with her. She could do it alone. It was the only option she had felt would finally give her back a sense of control and find freedom.

Freedom to choose how she wanted to live her life. A chance to heal and discover who she truly was now after all she had suffered. She could finally break free from the foster system and decisions that were not her own that would drastically affect her and her life for the worse.

It was a much desired fresh start for her.

Before she was taken to a new foster family, her parents had insisted on her to keep the money that they put into her account. She initially didn't want anything to do with it. Everything felt tainted.

However, she was glad to have it once she realized that it was enough to get her out of the state of Maine. It was blissful weeks of traveling from town to town by bus before realizing she needed to do something about her rapidly depleting cash. It was a regret that she hadn't taken any of her new foster family's money or any items to pawn off. She didn't want them to feel extra motivated to search for her or have police looking to arrest her. She just needed to get far away enough. Nonetheless, Lexa needed to think of how to proceed with this new wandering lifestyle of hers.

She had settled into a small unknown town and checked into a cheap motel in search of work. After a few months of working, she would quit her odd jobs and ride a bus to a new location. It went on like that for several more months until she was left relying solely on the income she was making. When payment for her motel rooms began coming up short, she wrestled with her pride and began staying at a shelter.

It wasn’t the life she had envisioned when she dreamt about running away but she had stubbornly kept at it for a good year because honest work had to pay off. She had to prove to herself that she hadn’t made a mistake to leave. She couldn’t deal with being a failure. She had to make it work no matter what.

That didn’t stop the creeping doubts and unhappiness she felt about her living conditions but those thoughts had to be pushed aside for her to continue forward.

Her 17th birthday had come and gone. There was no cause for celebration as she was constantly working at her waitressing job trying to save up money. She felt stuck in place. She wanted to pick up and travel to the next destination but she’d been struggling to get the amount of cash she needed.

Her wanderlust wanted to steer her back toward the east coast of the country. However, prices were steadily rising and the minimum wage was still minimum wage.

Finding people willing to pay her under the table had been difficult because she was obviously a stranger staying in a close-knit small town where everybody knew everyone. It was the longest time she had been forced to stay in one place. She wanted to get back into visiting new cities, seeing new sights and creating memorable moments. She just needed to figure out how to improve this new life of hers and to find a much happier balance.

She never would have thought that her new life would lead her down a criminal path.

It was after she had just finished her shift waitressing at the diner one day. She was walking down the sidewalk heading toward the shelter when someone had suddenly bumped into her back and made her stumble.

Her patience had been worn thin that day and she would love nothing more to punch someone in the face with her clenched fists. Instead, she shoved her hands into her pockets and glared at the rude man that was in an apparent rush. Then a sudden realization hit her.

Her wallet was missing from her pocket.

“Hey, get back here!” She yelled without a thought. “Stop!”

The woman that she believed stole her wallet glanced back alarmed before taking off into a run. She cursed under her breath as she ran after the pickpocketer, weaving in and out between startled people to close the distance between them. Her heart was matching the pounding of her feet against concrete. Her eyes were still locked onto the fleeing woman's blonde head, seeing her shoving another person out of her way before turning a corner.

She pushed herself to run faster, not wanting to lose her from her sight and quickly turned the corner to see the thief running across the street and nearly getting clipped by a car. She wasn’t going to let some thieving punk get away stealing what little she had made from her shift. Maybe it was foolish and dangerous, but those things did not enter her mind. It definitely should have entered her mind when she crossed the street to follow the woman into an alleyway.

“Give me my wallet back,” she demanded. “Stop right there!”

To her surprise, the woman actually slowed down to a stop, barely looking out of breath, and holding tight to her wallet.

“I am almost impressed.” the robber commented with her back still facing Lexa.

She stopped a few feet away, taking in the pickpocketer with her dark blonde hair and lean form. She frowned at seeing her glance back at her with a look of annoyance.

“Give me back what you stole,” she held a hand out to receive her wallet back.

“Stop chasing me,” the thief suggested before fully turning around to face her. “Rarely anyone is stupid enough to try to chase me.”

Lexa found her fist clenching again at her side.

“I will if you just hand over my wallet and we can pretend this whole thing didn’t happen,” she stated, her hand still outreached and waiting. “No, what are you doing?”

The pickpocketer had opened her wallet and was looking at the contents inside.

“No way,” she scoffed. “I ran and just managed to avoid getting hit by a car because some girl didn't know better to not chase after a criminal?” she shook her head in disappointment before tossing her wallet back to her.

Lexa caught the wallet and took a quick peek inside to make sure nothing was missing.

“You stole from me. I wasn't going to just stand idly by,” she shoved her wallet back inside her pocket and pointed firmly back to the person responsible for the whole incident.

She waved her off and gave a slight nod. “Most usually don't do what you just did. Normally the fear of not knowing if I'm unarmed or not stops them in their tracks. You didn’t stop. It had me thinking I pocketed gold but no,” shaking her head in disbelief, the robber chuckled. “No. You chased me to get a measly $12 and change back.”

“Are you crazy?” she questioned Lexa.

She had no idea how she found herself in this situation. What backward world did she accidentally stumble into? How was it that the person that robbed her was now laughing at her misfortune and asking if she was crazy? Maybe she was but she’s pretty sure this isn't how an expected situation between a thief and their victim would go.

The urge to punch was still very much there.

“You just failed to rob me because I could keep up with you. What makes you think you have any right to judge me? You have no clue what my life is Iike.”

The failed pickpocketer raised her hands in an attempt to ward off the growing tension.

“I meant no offense. Well,” she shrugged with a small smirk. “Maybe just a little. I found myself intrigued by you. It's what made me decide that you'd be my target. You're not from around here, are you?”

Suddenly she felt herself being scrutinized by the stranger before her. Feeling exposed was not a feeling she enjoyed. Certainly not by some criminal trying to charm her or whatever she was attempting to do.

“I think you should know that I am very close to ending this conversation by punching you in the mouth.”

It was very tempting to release every ounce of stress and frustration out on this blonde woman. It's been a while since she's been in a fistfight. She missed it as an outlet for her emotions and the rush it gave her.

It surprised her to see a smirk in response to her threat.

“It's been a long time since I've had a challenge. I think you're starting to remind me a little of myself.” Her smirk soon dropped. “Wait, don't go yet.”

Lexa had turned away ready to leave the whole situation behind and not wanting to hear how they're anything alike. However, she was pulled to a stop with a hand gripping her arm.

She twisted around in the grip and swung a left hook at the thief's head. Nothing but air as the woman effortlessly ducked beneath her punch. She attempted a knee next but it was blocked.

“Whoa, there, kiddo.”

“Shut up!” Lexa shouted, rushing forward to tackle the woman but instead they're both left wrestling for control. Before she knew it, a leg hooked behind her knee causing her to fall down on her back with her hands pinned on the concrete.

“Get off of me!” she snarled while struggling to free her hands.

“Hear me out first and then I will let you go.”

She gritted her teeth, wishing to toss the woman off of her but her wrists were in too strong of a grip to break loose. With no other choice but to listen, she tilted her chin up and stared at the criminal in the eyes.

“I was homeless. Long story short, I got mixed up in a bad crowd and did drugs when I was younger. Because of that, I lost everyone that I even remotely cared for because they didn't want me around anymore. They did the right thing.”

Lexa breathed out slowly as she watched the subtle changes to the woman's face.

“It took me a while to distance myself from all the bad. I slept in alleyways like this one and sometimes in shelters when there was space. I tried to turn my life around but people would take one look at me, see a homeless bum and wouldn't hire me for a job. You'd think the fact I was seeking work would have clued them in that I was trying to change that.”

Hearing that had finally made her stop resisting the hold. It was a startling reminder that she had been lucky enough to find space in the local shelter so far. It hadn't even crossed her mind that eventually there would be days where shelters would be full.

She couldn't imagine having to sleep outside in dirty alleyways or on a park bench. It became an even scarier thought because she was a young woman which unfortunately left her more vulnerable to the dangers of being sexually assaulted or worse.

“It all changed for me one night. I was starving and it was getting colder. I probably wouldn't have survived the winter if I hadn't been so desperate to survive. It took this well off looking asshole that basically told me to get a job when I asked for a few bucks to get myself a meal.

I… snapped. It's not a moment I'm proud of but after scuffing his fancy suit up, I took his wallet. I got my necessities and got the hell out of that city. I don't have to worry about my needs anymore. I can focus on enjoying life and not only on survival.”

It was unfortunate that it took having to rob someone all for the sake of survival and fulfilling your needs. However, she couldn't even be upset at her for having done that. If that had been her…

“If I had been in your shoes at that moment, I think I would've done the same thing.” She admitted, feeling torn about the morality of stealing from people, even from assholes that kind of deserved it.

“I see you're kind of conflicted about it. I get it and that's a good thing. I've not let myself forget that morally, it is wrong. Life isn't black and white though. It's all different shades of grey and people are usually a contradictory mess.”

Her wrists were let loose as the thief removed herself from her position on top of her and stood up. A hand is offered to help her back to her feet. She takes it and is pulled to her feet.

“This is not the life you want for yourself. I can see it. You're unhappy and you're unable to move forward. Don't you want to have the freedom to seek what you're looking for without things like money holding you back?”

That hit a little too close to home. She was right. She just wanted to be free and discover what this life can truly offer her. To travel far and wide, creating new experiences that she'll hopefully cherish forever. This was not what she envisioned when she ran away. But could she really pick up this certain lifestyle and fight her morals so she could live a more comfortable life?

“So, how about it? Are you ready to pursue the life you truly wanted? We both know that this is not it. I can show you how. I'll even teach you how to finesse your fighting skills. You show promise.”

The woman smiled warmly and offered her hand to her to shake.

“I'm Anya.”

It was suddenly a major life-changing decision. She could just walk away or take her hand into hers and take a leap. All she wanted was to be in charge of her life. It was her decision once again to decide if she wanted to further change her life.

“My name is Lexa…”

Having made the decision, she shook Anya's hand, someone who would soon turn into being her mentor and a trustworthy friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Happiness, hit her like a train on a track  
> Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back  
> She hid around corners and she hid under beds  
> She killed it with kisses and from it she fled  
> With every bubble she sank with a drink  
> And washed it away down the kitchen sink
> 
> The dog days are over  
> The dog days are done  
> The horses are coming so you better run
> 
> Run fast for your mother run fast for your father  
> Run for your children for your sisters and brothers  
> Leave all your love and your longing behind you  
> Can't carry it with you if you want to survive"
> 
> Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine


	2. Midnight City

**Five years later…**

Anya’s mentoring truly paid off in many ways for her. No longer did she have to scrape by to cover her essential needs. She didn't have to rely on trying to live on minimum wage and shitty tips anymore. She didn't even need to work a proper job unless she was bored with nothing else to do in a specific town. She could finally set aside her worries and focus solely on figuring herself out.

Unfortunately, figuring herself out still felt like a far fetch goal as the years passed.

There were days where she felt mostly content when Anya was around. She made sure to savor her time with her because her mentor doesn't like to stay in one place for too long. They would go months without seeing each other before reuniting in another state with new stories to share.

Most days though Lexa still very much felt like a shell of her former self.

She had hoped that when she struck out on her own several years ago, that it would lead her to a rebirth of sorts. It was supposed to be the thing to save her. She wanted to claw her way out of her shell and be someone new.

Someone that felt whole.

She wasn't whole.

Everything felt like jagged pieces that stabbed her insides. Time had not healed nor repaired the damage that had been done. She felt everything and nothing at all at once.

Her crimes became the glue to hold the pieces of herself somewhat together. It wasn't perfect. Pieces were missing and not fitting right as they should with the glue trying to hold it all together in some incomplete shape.

It may not be much but she was thankful for the little relief it offered her. She was glad for the itch, the thrill and adrenaline it gave her. It became her purpose.

Anya did quite well training her to practically become an expert thief and fighter. There had been a lot of trial and error the first couple years that resulted in jail time. She didn't like jail. It gave her too much time to think and made her feel trapped. Feeling trapped beneath her own skin was already claustrophobic enough for her. After her last stint two years ago, she made sure to never allow herself get caught in the process again.

So far, so good.

However, her life began to feel too repetitive lately; too routine. She'd travel to another small town, scope out opportunities to steal more money, settle for a short time there before finding herself back on the bus to take her to a new destination to repeat the process all over again. 

It suited her well the first few years and gave her a sense of freedom by getting to choose what she wanted to do next. It was also a major comfort not to stress over money related things anymore. It had been good enough to distract her from the fact that something was still missing in her life. She hadn't quite experienced total freedom like she's been longing for since having her heart shattered twice at 16.

After all, how does one find freedom from themselves?

It was earlier in the year when the sudden realization came to her that something needed to change. After hopping from town to town for so long, her excitement faded as she began noticing how similar each town actually was. It was becoming mundane and that's not what she wanted for her wandering journey. It did slightly amuse her hearing how people truly believed that their small town was safe from bad people and crime.

How willfully ignorant.

It was all the same to her. When she had envisioned running away years ago, she always had this image in her mind of herself driving a car, windows down to let the wind blow through her hair while road tripping across the United States.

She imagined it would be memorable, serene, and exhilarating. Perhaps that was the way she could finally attempt to unburden herself. It would be hard to sort through but she knew there was still a lot of stuff inside her that she needed to unpack. Being out on the open road by herself sounded like the best way to find the missing pieces of herself and a chance to smooth out the jagged edges.

A month ago, a plan began to form when she arrived in New York for the first time. It has been awhile since she felt total anticipation and awe when she took in the sights that New York City offered. Maybe she needed to start looking through a tourist lens to better experience . She liked it so much, she stayed to explore more and decided that this was where she'll put her plan in motion.

It was time to steal a car.

* * *

It would be the first time Lexa would steal a car on her own and for herself. She had tagged along with Anya a handful of times to steal vehicles just so she could learn how or because it was a delivery job. Her favorite memories were seeing how much Anya enjoyed joyriding and doing donuts in an empty lot. It had been such a pleasant surprise to see her friend freely laughing and smiling.

It had softened her enough to join in the laughter and enjoy the pure adrenaline as Anya continued to spin them rapidly at great speed leaving skid marks on the lot.

It was a memory Lexa held on tightly.

After doing some scouting of different parking lots in the area, she eventually found an ideal spot that she could case for cars. It was a convenience store on the corner that didn't have a well lit parking lot and only had one working camera at the entrance. She figured with the lack of lighting and a hoodie, she'll remain anonymous even if the camera's quality happened to be decent or not.

As luck would have it while waiting in the shadows nearby for a perfect opportunity, a dark colored Jeep Wrangler parked near the back of the lot away from the entrance of the store. She slinked a little closer when two female figures exited the car. One appeared to be a blonde and the other was a brunette. She watched the two young women enter the store, when she suddenly realized she hadn't heard any sounds signaling that the car had been locked.

This was her chance.

Lexa double checked that her hood was still in place before smoothly walking toward the Jeep and glancing around to see if there were any potential witnesses. There was none. She cautiously opened the car door ready to run if she had been mistaken and the alarm went off. Thankfully, she was correct that it was left unlocked during the women's rush into the store. The owner of the car would very much regret that soon enough.

All Lexa could hear was the rapid pounding of her heart while she quickly set to work to start up the car and take off.

There was no turning back now.

* * *

Feeling the steering wheel in her hands, Lexa gripped it until her knuckles turned white as her foot stayed pressed against the pedal of the stolen Jeep Wrangler. Her heart was racing as she constantly checked the mirrors and the road, almost expecting to see flashing blue and red lights of a cop car following her.

No police car in sight. No flashing lights or sirens to be heard.

She still did not loosen her tight grip on the wheel. Not yet. Not until the anxiety that filled her body, that made it tremor, and her racing heart began to lose its hold on her once she felt she was safe from being caught.

Lexa drove out of the city, passed through some more, determined to leave New York altogether. Only then, she’d imagine, it would be enough to feel like she really managed to escape. That she wasn’t going to get caught instantly and that she could actually go through with this idea of hers to travel across the country.

What she hadn't expected was nearly driving herself off the road in fright when a phone suddenly rang from the passenger seat. Cursing quietly to herself, she glanced to the seat where she had tossed her overstuffed backpack, which had apparently hidden the phone beneath it.

Biting her lip, Lexa chose to ignore it, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t try calling again. She needed to focus on the road and getting the hell out of New York. Once she did, she would have to eventually stop and get some rest, not to mention get an idea of where she was headed first.

However, before she could breathe a sigh of relief when the ringing stopped, it rang again and again and each time Lexa ignored it.

It was putting her further on edge, and after the 9th call, Lexa angrily snatched it from beneath her bag and answered it.

There was a brief moment of silence before suddenly a female voice began yelling through the phone.

"Hey, asshole! You stole my friend's car! We're gonna stick the po--” the sound of struggling and cursing suddenly interrupted before it tapered off into a moment of silence.

Then…

A new voice is heard on the other line.

“You actually answered?”

Lexa detected disbelief in the new voice before it turned angry.

“It was my car that you stolen. Do you have any idea how long I saved up to get that Jeep? I just bought it like 4 months ago. Only for some thieving dick to come along to pretend it was theirs now.”

Lexa furrowed her brow, still watching the road as she listened to the woman whose car she had stolen. If she wasn’t inwardly berating herself for answering the phone instead of simply shutting it off, she would almost be amused at being called a thieving dick. Anya would have a laugh.

She was quite aware that she was a thieving something.

“Do you often decide to complete screw over and inconvenience citizens? Because I am definitely feeling inconvenienced right now. I'm meant to be at a friend's surprise birthday party right now and be the bringer of alcohol.”

Suddenly the first voice Lexa heard piped up in the background of the call. She overheard the name “Clarke” which must be the car owner's name.

“I want my damn car back. Are you even listening? Hello Mr. Criminal? Answer me!”

Lexa found herself gripping the cell phone tighter in her hand.

It was a little annoying to be assumed a male. It's not the first time she's heard it.

"What do you have to say for yourself, huh? At least give me enough decency to answer me while I’m questioning you."

Lexa quietly scoffed as she debated if and how she would respond. It couldn’t hurt to momentarily speak to this person, and oddly enough it was actually a helpful distraction from how on edge she was during her escape.

Clearing her throat, she decided to humor the woman and maybe even stall her from reporting her car missing since it seems Clarke and her friend had chosen to call her stolen phone first in an attempt to guilt trip her.

"Are you done with your failed guilt trip, Clarke?” Lexa questioned in return, purposely including Clarke's name to hopefully unnerved her. “It's simple, really. I needed a car and yours just happened to appear at the opportune time for me to steal it.”

There's a gasp, a rustle over the phone and what sounded like muffled voices until Clarke’s voice came through clear again.

Lexa smirked briefly, pleased with her success to unnerve the girl.

"What the hell for? How do you know my name? And no, I am nowhere near done with the guilt trip.”

How insistently stubborn, she thought with a sigh.

“I needed it to travel. You should tell your friend to be more careful of what she says in the background.”

There's a groan after the realization of how she learned it and then a couple muffled curses were exchanged.

"There are other means of transportation, you know? It didn't have to come to this.”

"Those other means of transportation are exactly the reason why I decided it was time to get a car."

“Who are you? Where are you going with my car?”

Lexa scoffed once again amazed that Clarke would actually think she’d reveal her name or whereabouts to her.

"I am a criminal. Telling you my name or where I am would be a mistake on my part. Wouldn’t want to increase the odds of getting caught, now would I?"

"Look, you need to turn around and return the car to me. Do that and then just maybe I won’t involve the police and we can just settle this between us."

Did she think of Lexa a gullible idiot? She was sadly mistaken.

"No. I can’t do that, and I can’t trust that you wouldn’t have the cops waiting to arrest me if I were to ever entertain the thought of doing so. It’s too risky and honestly, I don’t take too kindly to being ordered around. You’ll just have to use those other means of transportation you mentioned, Clarke."

"Ha ha. I don't know what you really plan on doing with my car. If you really are just driving around or plan to strip it for parts but it doesn't have to come to that, okay?”

Lexa’s jaw twitched when she noticed the husky voice on the other end had softened.

“How about this? You can abandon the car, tell me its location and I can retrieve it. We can dismiss this as a stupid mistake and not involve the cops. See? You can trust me. So, please return --"

"No. This is something I have to do. I've been planning this all out!” Banging her fist against the steering wheel, Lexa could feel her anxiety and tension returning. Clarke was no longer being a good little distraction.

“Then undo those stupid plans! How could you ever think committing such a crime was a grand plan to have? Anyone else would have already reported their car stolen and I'm trying to work with you here. You can trust --”

“Shut up!” Lexa shouted as anger began to bubble up to the surface and spill into the conversation. “Don't delude yourself, Clarke. I don't know you and you don't know me. There is zero trust here.”

Lexa tensed thinking she saw a police car down a street and eased up on the pedal. Last thing she needed was to be pulled over for speeding in this car.

“Well, I am not giving up. I'm determined now to make this happen.”

“No.”

“I won't report the car stolen. We can come to an understand--” 

“I'm done,” Lexa interrupted again. “You're not getting it back. Deal with it.” Lexa have had enough of this conversation. She needed to be hyper aware of her surroundings and drive as far as she could before exhaustion could claim her.

As she ended the call, cutting Clarke off mid-pleads, she softly whispered before she realized what she was about to say and swallowed the rest down. “I’m...”

I'm sorry -- she was going to say.

Lexa couldn't remember the last time she apologized to anyone for something she did. This was not the time for any sort of apologizes though because she didn't regret taking the vehicle.

Powering the phone off, she chucked it back on the passenger seat and took a moment to appreciate the sudden silence and the passing city lights.

Now she was feeling a little guilty but she had meant it when she said she had to do this. She wasn’t about to turn back around and possibly get thrown in jail again when she was so close to finally reaching her original dream of being on the open road and hopefully make peace with her past.

So, she ruthlessly stumped down the guilt.

Lexa just needed to get as much distance as she could from New York.

It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Waiting in a car  
> Waiting for a ride in the dark  
> Drinking in the lights  
> Following the neon signs
> 
> Waiting for a word  
> Looking at the milky skyline  
> The city is my church  
> It wraps me in its blinding twilight
> 
> Waiting in a car  
> Waiting for the right time  
> Waiting in a car  
> Waiting for the right time"
> 
> Midnight City by M83


	3. Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, all chapters so far are unbeta'd.
> 
> You can contact me on Tumblr @ lon3lynation or Twitter @ lonelynation_
> 
> I'd love to witness any discussions that may occur about this story. I think it'll help me go that much further with this fic.

6 straight hours.

Over 340 miles.

Lexa drove through Pennsylvania from NYC, stopping only once at a reststop for a bathroom break and a gas refill. Anxiety had kept her alert during the whole drive but her tensed muscles and slightly blurred vision would be protesting by morning.

When the sunrise slowly made its appearance, now in the State of Virginia, she finally allowed herself to relax and exhale a tired breath. It felt like she had been holding it in the whole duration of her trip.

She had lost count of how many times she had checked her mirrors, filled with paranoia that a police car would be on her tail. It was a challenge to resist the temptation to speed. With her luck, she would be seen and pulled over for speeding.

If that happened, it all would have ended for her right there. Over before it even had a chance to really begin. It would be her priority now to avoid making any reckless mistakes. She didn't need to arouse any sort of suspicion. Lexa usually did well going unnoticed and she didn't want that to change.

She really wanted - no, needed - to continue this soul searching voyage of hers. It truly felt like whatever she was searching for, it was _just_ out of reach. Her fingers ached to stretch and grasp tightly to what she hoped would make her feel like a whole person again and that it had all been worth it.

In Richmond, VA, Lexa finally made the decision to allow her body to get its much deserved rest. Her eyes needed to rid itself of its blurry tired vision before it would be too risky to be on the road still.

Spotting the next available motel, she made the turn into the parking lot and parked the Jeep into an available spot before cutting the engine. She grabbed her backpack before hesitating for a minute to snatch Clarke's cell phone and shoving it into her jeans' pocket.

Moments later, Lexa entered her motel room and collapsed heavily onto the full sized bed. It was nothing fancy, her room, but it was comfortable enough and clean. She didn't need anything more than that.

Between the thrill of successfully stealing a car, the post-anxiety, the whole unexpected conversation with Clarke and hours on the road, she was truly exhausted. Lexa didn't want to move a single inch but she mustered enough energy to move her backpack and the accidentally stolen phone onto a nearby table.

After she had abruptly ended the phone call with Clarke last night, she had felt a greater need to get out and far away from New York. It seemed very likely that the car would've been reported stolen shortly after that conversation. She had made it clear that she would not be returning the car back to Clarke.

It would be what any normal person whose car was stolen would do, right? Lexa knew if she had been the one with a stolen car, she would've instantly called the police and filed a report. She wouldn't have cared to amend things peacefully if she had been the one robbed.

Then again, she doubted that many people would've actually attempted to call the person who had stolen their property and try to get them to return it. She was pretty sure that wasn't a customary thing that happened between criminals and their unfortunate victims. That didn't seem to fit the case for Clarke.

Clarke did say she wasn't going to give up, that she was determined. She said she wouldn't report the car stolen. Apparently, the woman liked to go against the norm and do things differently.

Like making Lexa feel almost guilty during their call before she quickly ended it. She couldn't have that. She had gone through with her plan, got the car, left New York, and she wasn't about to let a stranger convince her to give it all up.

If she was ever going to return to New York, then it would be after she had reached the west coast and if she still wanted to be on the road, she would travel back east. As far as she was concerned, that wouldn't happen for some time. Months, even.

So, she pushed it to the backburner, deciding that nothing would force her to turn around. She wasn't about to let some deluded girl ruin her much overdue soul searching.

However, the whole thing did leave her unsure if there was a BOLO out on the car or not now. If there was, then she would put one of the fake plates she brought with her on the bumper. If there wasn't a report made, then she would most likely hold off on switching the plates. It was irritating how unconventional Clarke made this whole situation for her.

Lexa sighed tiredly before falling back into the bed, kicking her shoes off to the carpeted floor with soft thuds. More thoughts would have to wait for later. Her eyes were drifting shut and before she knew it, she was out like a light.

* * *

_Someone is pounding on the door so loudly that it startles Lexa upright from where she lay sleeping on the bed. She freezes in position as she struggles to process what she's hearing and what it means._

_A stranger banging on your door is never a good sign. Her heart beat is quickly matching the quick pace of the pounding and breathing suddenly feels difficult. For a moment, Lexa finds herself feeling like a scared kid, wanting to close her eyes and wish the bad thing to go away._

_But isn't she the bad thing that's now apparently trapped in the motel room?_

_Lexa jumps out of bed and runs toward the door, planting her back against it. The hard knocks sends vibration up and down her spine._

" _Police! Open up right now!"_

_Shit, they found her._

_Run! Escape! Go now!_

_Her mind shouts at her but Lexa's only way to escape is already compromised by the cops standing right outside her door. There is no way of getting pass them, much less escaping their notice._

_They have caught her._

_She deflates, not understanding how she was found so quickly, but knows that she needs to surrender now._

" _Okay! I'm co-...", she begins to alert them but suddenly trails off when hearing a muffled countdown from the other side._

_No._

_She tries to jump away in time but the door bursts open, splinters raining down everywhere and there's so much chaos._

_She falls... and falls into an infinite darkness to be devoured for all the sinful things she's done._

"No!"

Lexa shot awake, gasping out in fright as she quickly searched the room for anything or anyone out of place. There's nothing to be seen or heard. It was just her alone in a motel room after she had fallen asleep on the bed.

"I thought I was done with these dreams," she groaned to herself before smacking her hand down on the mattress in annoyance. After taking a moment to calm down, she eventually sighed to herself. "How long was I out?"

Slipping out of bed, she did a full body stretch and observed the clock on the wall. Apparently, she was asleep for only 4 hours before the nightmare had woke her up. She had not missed the dreams. It's been nearly 3 years free of them haunting her unconsciousness.

She initially began having dreams when she learned how to successfully steal and found herself loving the thrill it provided. That first year was the hardest for her to come to terms with what she was doing. There was a lot of guilt, feeling torn between her morals and feeling unsure on how the hell to justify her actions.

There was also the fact that she feared she would get caught in the act every single time she did it and that police would instantly appear to toss her into jail. Of course, Anya totally loved to tease her about that but she also understood what Lexa was feeling and helped her come to terms with herself.

The dreams lessened after that and eventually it stopped for good. It must've returned due to going through with her plan last night and the stress that followed after. Stealing a vehicle felt like a much bigger deal compared to the usual thievery she did to get by. It wasn't the same as being her friend's accomplice when she did it either.

With a little more time to process everything, she felt confident that things would go back to normal for her. She would find a way to deal like always. Until then, getting some food inside her to refuel sounded like heaven. Her next step of her plan needed some figuring out, after all.

Deciding the little cafe next door would do, she readied herself before catching sight of the cell phone that laid on the table.

Right, that too.

She needed to decide what to do with it.

Snatching the phone up, she left her room and set about ordering lunch.

There were only a handful of people inside, so Lexa quickly found a desirable seat by the window after receiving and paying for her order. Removing the phone from her pocket, she set it on the table in front of her to stare at while preparing her coffee to her liking.

She could only imagine what she would find if she were to turn the phone back on. Missed calls, she predicted. Possibly all from Clarke if her hanging up on her didn't crush the woman's hopes of convincing her to return the car. It was safe to say she was curious, maybe, too curious for her own good.

Her mentor would tell her that keeping it could put her at risk of having her location tracked and to toss the phone in the dumpster. Be done with it. That'd be the most logical thing to do to keep yourself safe.

However, she could make good use of the phone for directions and to see if there was anything worth seeing before leaving Virginia. If she happened to also learn more about the person that confronted her over the phone, well, it didn't seem like too terrible of an idea. It could be useful to her if she heard from Clarke again.

Unwrapping her sandwich to take a bite, she turned the phone on with her free hand and observed the blue casing adorned with stickers before the welcome greeting for Clarke popped up. Swiping it aside to unlock the screen, which luckily wasn't password protected, Lexa found her curiosity peaked at the photo used as the background.

Three young women, two of them dark haired and a blonde, had their arms around each other. It appeared they were all in the middle of laughing when the picture was taken. It made the corner of Lexa's mouth twitched upward for a moment. Last time she could remember having a picture taken of her looking so carefree had been with Costia. Her old wounds subtly ached at the reminder. It's been so long ago.

Lexa forced the reminder and ache away to refocus on the photo. She had felt a slight sense of recognition while looking at the three women. Her eyes kept going back to the blonde and the brunette with her hair down.

Oh.

She hadn't been close enough to really see their features well enough at the time but she remembered a blonde exiting the driver's side of the car and her friend out of the passenger side. O, had been the caller ID from last night. O and Clarke were in the photo with another friend of theirs.

That must mean the young woman with blonde hair was most likely Clarke. It had to be. Surprisingly, her first thought was that the girl had a very attractive smile and she wondered what her laughter sounded like. There had been nothing light in Clarke's tone when she finally answered the call. Her voice was filled with anger, desperation, and eventually it softened toward the end as she tried to get Lexa to trust her.

She would never admit it out loud but normally girls with gruff voices like Clarke's tended to be a turn on for her. It apparently didn't sway far from that even when being called a thieving dick in that voice. Thankfully at the time, she was more distracted with the whole escaping New York thing to realize there was more than just amusement at the comment.

Shaking her head free of the realization, Lexa was glad to remain guilt free and felt rather confident that Clarke would do just fine without her car.

Clearing her throat, she took a sip of her coffee as she decided to look for extra confirmation by clicking on the Instagram icon. It was still signed into Clarke's account. Her lips parted at seeing the deep blue eyes of Clarke's after clicking over to her profile to see her uploaded photos. Her eyes had been scrunched closed mid laughter in the wallpaper picture. Lexa wouldn't be surprised if most people got lost looking into those eyes. It felt like you could learn a lot about Clarke and her emotions if you searched deep enough.

Lexa believed her own eyes were probably empty looking compared to Clarke's. Cold and closed off. Only Anya got to witness her raw emotions once in a great while. It was rare when she would allow herself to crack open enough to let any vulnerability out. She couldn't even remember when she last cried.

Clarke appeared to be her exact opposite. If anything else, she was a reminder of a younger Lexa when she thought she finally found her place in the world and was loved. How things have changed.

Lexa enlarged the most recent photo, noticing it must have been taken last night. It was of Clarke leaning against the outside window of the corner store. An opened beer bottle was held loosely at her side and there were plastic bags filled with alcohol sitting around her feet. Clarke had looked off to the side, showing her profile with a look of irritation.

Beneath the photo it read:

> **Sorry, guys. I started without you because my car got fucking stolen.**

Lexa winced slightly as she glanced at the comments below. Clarke's friends had some choice words for her without knowing the thief would actually end up seeing the comments. It was tempting to respond and perhaps scare them but that would be a pointless mistake to make.

Clarke had replied to one comment to reassure she would still make it to the birthday party. At least Lexa didn't completely ruin her plans. It was sort of strange as her thoughts wandered to what ifs.

What if she had met Clarke before ever stealing her car?

Lexa believed that if she had seen Clarke at a bar or a club, she would have pursued her for a rare one night stand. She didn't have those as often but once a while she needed the intimacy and release.

However, that hadn't been the case for them. Instead, Clarke was a victim to her thievery. There was no changing that even if she wanted to but she didn't, really. What was done, had been done.

Exiting the app, she decided to scroll through several missed calls. All were from Clarke, she suspected, clearly holding her friend's phone hostage over the night. There were also text messages sent to her from the same number - O - which confirmed her suspicions.

' _That was rude as hell, you know?'_

' _Are you going back to ignoring me now? My car better be in one piece.'_

' _I meant it when I said I wouldn't involve the police. We can settle this between us. It's a win/win. I get my car back and you stay out of jail. Yay?'_

' _Answerr teh phon e!'_

' _yoy are such a nasshole. Im drunk and wastng my time calling u.'_

_'talk to me? please'_

" _i was shocked to hear ur voice. Youre not like a buff mean dude w/ such a nice feminine voice right? Thatd totally ruin m y imagination.'_

And lastly, a text from this morning.

' _Morning, criminal who continues to ignore my calls and texts. I'm fine with you not replying to my drunken ones. But can you please keep the car clean, at least?'_

Lexa wasn't sure how she managed it, but in between chuckling and grinning into her cooling cup of coffee, she eventually finished her sandwich. It amazed her how persistent Clarke was acting. It was actually a bit impressive, if not also entirely entertaining too.

She was almost tempted to text back, to goad Clarke into another rant and perhaps tease her about already leaving a mess in the car. It'd make a nice distraction when she could use one. It was still a hell of an odd situation, conversing with the person that she stole a car from, but she hadn't expected to find herself intrigued by this Clarke.

Maybe it had been too long of a time since Lexa had really spoken to another woman around her age, much less befriending one. Not to mention that she had been longing for something new, unexpected, and even challenging. Clarke potentially had those attributes and that must be why she had taken an interest in seeing how it would all play out.

It was also a major bonus that Clarke hadn't reported the car stolen yet.

Guess that made the decision for her. She was going to hang onto the phone for the time being. It would be no problem for her to get rid of it quickly though, if she ever needed to protect her location.

There was just one little thing that Lexa swore to herself to _not_ do since she was keeping the phone now. If Clarke contacted her, then she would answer her. As for calling Clarke herself, she was absolutely not going to do that.

There had to be a line drawn somewhere.

No matter how much Clarke stated that she could be trusted, Lexa needed to stay guarded, at least for her own sake.

With that in mind, she looked back at the last of Clarke's texts and pondered what to type in response. It'll come to her, she figured, there was a lot to think about today as she continued to plan out her next step and destination. There had to be some place in Virginia that she should experience before leaving.

Soon, she spotted a shelf filled with brochures of different local attractions by the counter. She picked out a few of them to look through after dumping her sandwich wrapper and cup in the trash.

Sitting back down by the window, Lexa read about Virginia Beach which would take her over an hour to get to the coastline. There was a 100 acres public park and Victorian estate called Maymont. She would visit that since it was in the same city, she was in. Lastly, she learned about Blue Ridge Parkway. The pictures alone were of such beautiful views and she wished to see them in person. It would take her opposite of Virginia Beach and a couple more hours to reach one of the several entrances to the mountain ridge.

A plan began to form in mind as Lexa allowed the anticipation to build. She was really doing this. There were so many places to visit and experience. She hoped they truly matched her expectations and more like they claimed in the brochures. She tired of disappointment.

Today, she would explore what Maymont had to offer. Virginia Beach and Blue Ridge Parkway would have her back on the road tomorrow. She was ready to witness all that this road trip had to show her.

Having made her decisions, Lexa picked up the cell phone and returned to her motel room. She was in need of a hot shower to further relax her muscles but first, she responded to Clarke's texts with two of her own.

'Are you aware that you're displaying the 7 stages of grief, Clarke?'

'Also now I'm curious to know what you were drunkenly imagining as you thought of me with my nice feminine voice, hm?'

Later, a hangover Clarke would happily grin at finally receiving a response. It soon fell when she groaned softly to herself feeling embarrassed at the reminder of her drunk texting but also intrigued that her car thief fixated on that particular one.

Wasn't that specific conversation sort of…

Flirty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear  
> And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear  
> Take the wheel and steer
> 
> It's driven me before  
> And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal  
> But lately I am beginning to find  
> That I should be the one behind the wheel
> 
> Whatever tomorrow brings  
> I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
> 
> Whatever tomorrow brings  
> I'll be there, I'll be there"
> 
> Drive by Incubus
> 
> Thanks for the feedback! Be sure to let me know your favorite line or scene. 
> 
> I could use a fic cover if anyone wants to create one for this story? I don't have a working PC to do it myself.


	4. Road Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter so far. Enjoy! Find me @ lon3lynation on Tumblr if you want to discuss the story. I tend to think out loud about my writing or ideas for the fic there. Of course, feedback and advice always welcomed. What was your favorite scene or line?
> 
> I do have one more question: how would you prefer to read about Lexa's past - flashback, dream, or just mention it in dialog/thoughts?

Visiting Maymont and its 100 acres the day before had been an engaging experience. Touring the elaborate Mansion had taught her the history of the estate and of the Gilded Age era. Lexa tried but failed to envision herself living in such a lavish home during the early 1900s. If she had lived during those times, she'd bet that she possibly would have been institutionalized for loving the fairer sex and daring to fight for equal rights. Morbidly enough, she could picture herself in a mental asylum, a guinea pig for the barbaric experiments to 'cure' her but only succeeding in breaking her mind. If her imagined alternate lives paralleled her own, then the pain was to be a recurring theme.

What a tortured soul.

Lexa laughed.

If Anya was around, she would tell her to stop acting like such a pathetic masochist and to be more present. It was something she had been unable to kick. Her mind often wandered to her past, the pain never-ending as she visited old memories, both good and bad. It was difficult to forgive or forget after it had drastically impacted the life she once knew and irrevocably transformed the person she was.

Melancholy had become an old friend of hers and she didn't know how to let go.

It was always lurking around but she was grateful that it didn't stop her from feeling other things alongside it.

Admiring the garden's' vibrant flowers and rushing streams had left her with the feeling of contentment. It had her looking at her surroundings more closely and reflective of how things could appear differently to others.

Her favorite moment occurred when she came across one of the black bears that were on the grounds. There had been an older couple, a man and a woman, taking a photo of the wild bear from a distance. She chose to stand next to them to observe the black bear pacing and how her appearance didn't escape its attention when the animal briefly paused to look at her.

"Oh, I can't help but feel nervous when he stops and stares at us," the older woman had said aloud. Lexa simply hummed in response before clasping her hands behind her back.

She didn't shy away from gazing at the bear. She admired the thick dark fur, deep brown eyes, its lumbering gait and how he eyed her in return. Before long, the older couple were taking several steps away from her when the bear began closing the distance between them.

Lexa stayed where she was, hands still behind her back, eyes alert on the approaching bear. It sniffed the air and grunted when he got a few feet away from her.

She knew the nervous couple behind her thought the bear was likely stalking her but she believed differently. There was a shared curiosity between them.

In time, the black bear simply plopped down on its bottom, curiosity finally sated and focused its attention on eating the berries off the shrubs.

"How were you so calm during that?" the other woman questioned.

"We had a mutual understanding," Lexa had murmured, the curve of her lips raised in a subtle smile.

At the memory, Lexa found herself softly smiling yet again as she dug her fingers into the sand by her sides. Maymont had been yesterday. Now she was in Virginia Beach. She strolled the boardwalk, sampling from food vendors here and there, before finding herself longing to be closer to the water.

So, she sat on the beach, feeling the warm sand against skin and clothes. Only then did she realize that she desperately needed to go shopping for swimwear. Her overstuffed backpack could only hold so much and she had figured that whatever else she needed, she could get during her trip. A suitcase would be nice, too.

Deciding that she'll go shopping likely after traversing the Blue Ridge Parkway, Lexa reluctantly accepted she will have to deal with odd tan lines for the time being. Pulling her fingers out of the sand, she wipes them off before reaching into the pocket of her shorts for Clarke's cellphone.

When it flashed on, she scrolled through her previous exchange with Clarke after she finally made the decision to continue with the conversations.

_'If you think I'm going to hit the acceptance stage, think again. As for your other text, there wasn't much imagining done once the idea you could be some big buff mean looking criminal who can convincingly disguise their voice came up.'_

_'Shame. Also a shame? How unattractive your mind suddenly made me. I can assure you those specifics are incorrect.'_ Lexa responded back, at the time feeling partly amused and a little bit offended.

_'I feel so very assured. Perhaps I can be convinced if you tell me your name?'_

_'No.'_

_'You can't keep telling me no!'_

_'Yes, I can, Clarke.'_

Lexa was quickly finding out she quite liked telling Clarke "no". It was oddly satisfying to frustrate the girl to the point where she was positive that Clarke was shouting curses at the screen. Anya wasn't one to get easily frustrated by her. The few times she did, it hadn't amused her because it left her feeling like a disappointment. It was nice to have someone to rile up and it not be taken too seriously. It was something she planned to do as often as she could. It was almost payback for being convinced to continue with the calls and letting Clarke falsely hope she could get her car back someday.

It truly didn't make any sense to her as to why the Jeep hadn't been reported stolen. Out of all the possible scenarios she thought of, it never occurred to her that the person she had stolen from would reach out to her. It made her a bit uncomfortable because never before was she forced to face her victims after robbing them. After the deed was done, she always made herself scarce, never seeing the unlucky victims again. Now she knew the victim's name of her latest crime and being confronted with what she had done.

But Clarke wasn't like any of her other victims, was she? After all, the others most likely would have gone to the police.

Clarke was an anomaly.

Lexa didn't know what to expect in her predicament with the other girl. She hadn't a clue what could happen tomorrow, next week, or the upcoming months. Things could happen, change or come to an end. There was no way of knowing what she'd get out of the calls with Clarke and how long it would last. For now, it lessened the chance of getting caught with a stolen car.

Good or bad, all Lexa knew was whatever may happen in the future, she couldn't deny the fact that she was intrigued by Clarke. They had only spoken a couple of times and the woman was already getting her to open up a little. Not necessarily with Clarke, but with herself.

She felt daring and playful to the point it could be almost taken as flirting. It had her acting in ways that reminded her of her younger self before all the hurt that happened to her. She thought those traits were long gone but she was slowly finding out that they were only buried and waiting to be rediscovered again. Perhaps there were still a few things left of the person she used to be.

She just needed to peel back the layers of scar tissue, ignore the pain, and reclaim what she missed about herself. It didn't all have to stay connected to her ancient wounds. She could find a place where it could be free of the scabs.

There was a lot of self-reflecting work to be done but that's exactly why she wanted this trip. It was a much-needed escape to finally take the time to look at herself and figure how to move past her history. It had been holding her hostage for too long.

Lexa was still very reluctant on facing those memories head-on in hopes that she could finally make peace with it. She wasn't quite ready to dredge it all back up. There were still infinite miles left for her to gather the courage to do so. It needn't be rushed or it'll only cause her to continue to run further away from herself and leave it festering.

She has done enough running for over 6 years. It was time to sort her shit out for good.

With a sigh, Lexa stood up from the sand and gazed at the blue ocean, noticing a few surfers waiting for the perfect wave. She had been so occupied with her own thoughts that she had barely noticed the others chatting and sunbathing around her.

It amused her thinking how teenage Lexa would be shocked that she turned into such a lone wolf with only her thoughts for company.

Lexa brushed away the sand sticking to her bare legs before unknotting the plaid long sleeves shirt from around her waist to shake out. Once free of sand, she retied it back around her before deciding it was time to go to her next destination.

Blue Ridge Parkway.

* * *

Back on the road again, she drove with the radio off and the windows down. It was refreshing to hear only the wind, the traction of tires on the road, and her own breathing. Noise has been a constant melody in her life since leaving home. Between sharing public buses with several talkative strangers and going unnoticed in crowds as she scoped out potential targets to pickpocket, she hadn't realized how much she had craved the quietness.

She was feeling lighter, free of tension, and finally beginning to feel what she believed was happiness poking at her well-guarded walls. It was time to let them form enough cracks to let it in and savor the feeling. It's been too long since she had felt truly joyous about life in general.

It was invigorating.

By the time Lexa arrived at the mountain ridge, she was ready to relish the winding roads and scenic views of the region. It would be a lengthy drive that could take days to complete but it was a journey she wanted to take. She wanted the new and memorable.

The accidentally stolen cell phone vibrated with new text messages as she spotted a visitor center. Keeping her eyes on the road, she opened the texts and glanced at them. They were from Clarke, of course.

_'It's a new day which means more bugging the hell out of you to return the car to me, thief.'_

' _Come back to New York.'_

' _Don't you feel guilty yet? Do the right thing.'_

Lexa shook her head in amusement before placing the phone down to respond to later. She parked near the center, deciding more information and a map was needed. She entered the building and was quickly offered a brochure of areas she could stop and see or stay the night along the Blue Ridge. In the back, it had small cropped maps but she wanted to be able to fully track how to experience the most of the ridge and where it would take her in the end.

Her inquiries eventually directed her to the gift shop. It was filled with all sorts of souvenirs with Blue Ridge Parkway in bold letters on them. The maps were in the corner and she quickly ripped the plastic to unroll the map. It showed the whole length of the mountain chain which was exactly what she needed.

After rerolling the map, Lexa came to a sudden stop a moment later when she realized that she was about to exit the shop without going to the cashier. It took another moment for her to process that she had sneakily hidden the map under her clothes without giving it much thought. It happened so effortlessly that she barely noticed what she had actually done.

She had felt the itch for a brief moment but ignored it because it wasn't needed in this situation. She had money to pay for it. It was just a map from a gift shop full of cheap souvenirs.

And yet her body still went through the motions to steal a stupid map.

Feeling slightly annoyed with herself, she smoothly pulled the map back out and made her way to the cashier to pay for it as she had originally planned.

Beyond ridiculous.

Lexa was back in Clarke's car with the map spread out across the steering wheel to see where her route would take her. However, her mind kept replaying what had almost happened earlier. It was kind of unsettling that stealing was something her body could now automatically do without much thought. It was just idiotic that it occurred inside a gift shop of all places.

She shouldn't have had felt the itch to steal in the first place.

It was only a few days ago that she had successfully stolen a car. The plan was to use the money she had saved up and that she would pickpocket some more cash once it was running low. That should have held her over for a while before craving the rush again. Maybe she needed to look back into joining an underground fighting ring to ease the excessive energy that was stirring within her. Obviously, due to her lifestyle, her body didn't know how to handle downtime.

Shaking her head, she reached for Clarke's phone to text the girl back. A distraction was needed.

_'I feel entirely guilt-free, thank you. How much rejection do you think you can take all summer? Because I am not turning back around.'_

Lexa smirked at Clarke's ongoing attempts to get her to return the car. She liked the woman's determination and wondered how long she could continue denying what Clarke wanted before she grew tired of it.

_'Nice try, though.'_

Looking back at the map, Lexa decided she'll drive Blue Ridge into North Carolina. She was content with the idea of enjoying the sights of the mountain scenery during her drive that would likely last more than a few days. There was no time limit set for her. Lexa could take in every moment without the weight of a large ticking clock on her shoulders.

Hearing the alert of two new text messages, she set aside the map for the phone.

_'I see it'll take me a lot more to convince you. I don't think I appreciate how many miles you are going to put my car through.'_

_'Can you at least humor me and share a clue of your location or name? I'm going to get tired of thinking up synonyms for criminal.'_

Lexa huffed out a small chuckle with a response at the ready to further toy with Clarke. Admittedly though, the idea of giving Clarke vague clues for her to obsess over seemed fun.

_'Stranger danger!'_

_'Hey! That's my fucking line.'_

_'Calm down, Clarke.'_

_'Is being an asshole your default state?'_

_'Maybe.'_

_'I'm going to call you now.'_

Lexa just managed to read the last text before the phone in her hand blared with an incoming call from Clarke.

"You know, you're keeping me from beginning a very nice long drive." She answered the phone after a slight hesitation when she suddenly felt nervous.

She pushed it aside.

"Hook up the Bluetooth then. It's in the glove compartment."

Lexa let out a quiet "oh" before placing the phone to her left ear to reach the glove compartment with her right hand. She pulled it out and begun to connect the Bluetooth as Clarke continued speaking.

"So, are you seriously not going to give me any clues?"

"I guess I could humor you for a minute," Lexa forced an exaggerated sigh. "It'll take me many miles but I'm sure the scenic views at this particular altitude will make it a memorable experience. I think I'll get views of the whole region. I'm looking forward to it."

Hearing Clarke trail off into a thoughtful hum, Lexa knew instantly she was trying to get an idea of where she was. She gave details, tiny ones, but rather generic enough as it still wasn't going to pinpoint what her location was to Clarke.

"Like scenic with trees and winding roads, oh, Raven asked if you are near a body of water?"

Lexa was positive she was hearing the sounds of someone typing away on a keyboard. She chuckled softly, pulling the wired earbud from the glove compartment and placing it on.

"I guess I'll find that out soon enough. Who is Raven?"

"Oh, um," the sound of typing paused before two hushed voices were heard. "Shit, sorry. She's a friend and now she thinks you're going to come murder us. I forbid that, by the way."

She started the engine after everything was connected, her excitement rising as she began her drive through the winding parkway.

"You forbid me?" she scoffed. "That'll definitely be enough to save you from certain death."

"Shut up."

"Is it a habit of yours to share your name and your friends' names with criminals? I'm pretty sure that should be discouraged."

She paused, hearing no defense coming from Clarke. She continued.

"I have your name, your car, and your phone. I bet I could easily find out where you live. What if I was more than a simple car thief? Someone that could come back to rob or hurt you and your friend without a single care."

Clarke doesn't waste a second to respond.

"But that's not you, is it?"

Lexa stopped breathing.

"What?''

"You may have learned a little about me but I've learned a bit about you too from our talk. I know that you didn't steal the car to make money off of it since you said you weren't going to have it taken apart and that you simply needed a car to drive to wherever you wanted to go. You could've easily said otherwise or nothing at all."

Clarke's confidence was growing.

"There's also the fact that before you abruptly ended our call, you actually sounded like a second away from saying you're sorry. That to me doesn't sound like someone that's a hardcore criminal and is unapologetic about it."

Lexa didn't know what to do about a stranger sounding so confident in her observations of her. She barely had a whole clear picture of herself. It was unnerving to hear Clarke sound so sure and correct at that. Was she more transparent than she realized?

"Seems like we're breaking down all the barriers here."

"Huh?"

"I didn't really care how inconvenienced I would make the person I stole from feel. I am sorry for putting you into this situation."

"Did you really not feel bad at all for whoever you were going to steal from?"

"You're going to regret asking that. I didn't really feel too bad. I think if I had to redo it all over again, I still would have done it."

"Oh."

Lexa could sense the disappointment.

"Did that finally give you the reality check you needed, Clarke?"

"Maybe but unluckily for you, it also made me even more curious to learn more about you."

Lexa's fingers tightened on the steering wheel before she released a pitiful groan. The girl was going to be even more determined than ever.

"Hey, did you know that in Michigan you are never more than 6 miles away from a body of water?"

"I did not know that, no."

"Is that where you are?"

Looking in the wrong direction.

"Nope. I can't say I've visited there yet. Clarke, you're not going to pinpoint my location with the details I've given you. Tell your friend to stop wasting her time."

Clarke huffed through the phone.

"You can't blame me for trying to figure out where you and my car are located."

"As long as you know that you will fail each time. That's something you're going to have to come to terms with."

"I think you're underestimating me, carjacker. I don't easily give up on anything that I want, ever."

"Sure, I'll try to remember that."

Lexa tapped her fingers against the wheel, driving the slower speed limit while silently admiring what seemed like an endless amount of trees on one side and the other an open view of the region. She always figured herself to be a city girl though there were times when it made her feel overwhelmed and claustrophobic. With nature surrounding her with its lack of buildings and people, it was amazingly peaceful.

"So...," Lexa eventually muttered after the pause in the conversation.

"So, can I ask if you even have a destination in mind for this trip of yours?

"Not really. Isn't that the point of a cross country road trip?"

"A road trip usually ends where it began."

"For others, maybe. They have a home and a life to return to. I have nothing in New York waiting for my return. I'm free to travel as far and wide as I want until I decide if I want to settle somewhere."

"Well, what if you did have something?"

"Have what something?"

"Something that you could return to."

"If I did then I guess I would return to wherever that something was. But I don't. It's only been me since I left my foster home years ago. That's never going to be my something and I've no plans to ever go back to where I was no longer wanted."

"Clearly there's a story there that -"

"That I won't be telling you."

"That you won't be sharing, right. I figured that much. What about the years you've been on your own?"

"Throughout the years, I've been nothing more than a hopeless wanderer. It's not like I've made any close connections with anyone."

"You never made any friends?"

"Not really. Well, except for one woman about 5 years back when I was trying to make an honest living and it wasn't getting me anywhere. She stole my wallet, I chased her down, and then she became my friend and mentor in how to live a not so honest lifestyle."

"I guess that's one way to make new friends. She's the one that got you into committing crime? It doesn't sound like she was a good influence on you."

"You're only saying that because if I hadn't met her then maybe we wouldn't be in the predicament we are in now."

Not sure of what to make of the sudden silence on the other end of the line, except that she was most likely correct, Lexa offered up another comment.

"Besides, she taught me how to survive in this world and I'll always appreciate what she has done for me."

"Are you still in contact with her?" Clarke finally responded.

"Not lately. I haven't seen her in months. She's like me, also the sort to wander off to wherever her feet take her."

She wondered how far Anya had traveled and what State she was in now. Were they close in distance or too far apart? Perhaps it was time to try reconnecting with her and find out where she was located now. She would happily drive the distance to see her mentor again.

She did miss Anya, her stories, and the shared understanding they had of each other.

"Well, I think I revealed enough to you today."

"See, I'm already proving myself right that I'd get to know you little by little with each phone call I make to you."

Lexa wouldn't admit out loud, but Clarke was slowly becoming familiar to her and she made it too easy to open up. It made her want to be all the more stubborn.

"I guess this is something I'm going to have to get used to, hm? Keeping you penned into my daily schedule."

"Yeah but there's time and I'm pretty confident that I'll even get you to look forward to these calls."

The thing was that Lexa was already starting to look forward to speaking to Clarke.

It was going to become problematic.

"Overconfident, I think you mean. I'm gonna let you go now since this drive is calling for my full attention."

"Alright, well, have a safe drive then, stranger. I'll speak to you again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your day, Clarke."

After saying their goodbyes, Lexa finally disconnected the call and yanked out the Bluetooth earbud. That was enough of Clarke for today. Her eyes wanted to feast on the breathtaking sight that the line of trees finally revealed. Between the bright sunny afternoon sky and the chain of mountains that stood in the distance, it felt like Lexa was witnessing a true masterpiece coming to life.

She eventually pulled over to the side after an hour of driving and left the car sitting idle to stand near the guard rail. Inhaling the fresh mountain air, she sighed out contently, shoving her hands into her pockets. It was quite a view that was way more magnificent than the pamphlet pictures made it out to be. She was glad that she hadn't missed out on learning about the parkway.

This was the beginning of her making a new memory of every place she would get to visit. Lexa was going to savor it all. She was allowing herself new and better memories to hopefully replace the ones that still left their ugly mark on her. Wasn't she deserving of that?

There was only one little irritating feeling that was bugging her as she stood and took everything in. Something was missing. It was telling her that this memorable view shouldn't be admired alone but for it to be shared with someone.

Her imagination briefly visualized a blonde someone standing next to her, gasping in awe at the mountains, and cockily pointing out that she was right about Lexa being near a body of water when she spotted a river glittering down in the distance. It was a scene Clarke would like, she imagined.

Lexa groaned quietly, rubbing her temples to wipe away the picture her brain produced.

She had been right.

Things were most definitely going to get problematic for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We drive until the gas is gone  
> And then walk until our feet are torn  
> Crawl until we feed the soil  
> Film the whole thing
> 
> It's all business in the left-hand lane  
> Drive there and then drive back again  
> Escape can't be the only way to escape
> 
> So I've gotten used to coffee sweats  
> Still getting used to road regrets  
> And hell I took you up on all your threats to leave"
> 
> Road Regrets by Dan Mangan.


	5. Ways To Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent a long-ass time wrestling with this chapter, so please just take it and enjoy it. lol
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @lon3lynation

5 days and 400 miles of Blue Ridge Parkway later, Lexa found herself in North Carolina. After staying her nights in rustic lodges and taking in the views along the parkway, she was feeling spoiled and reinvigorated in such a way she hadn't experienced in a long time. Over the years, it was all cheap hotels and motels. As long it had a clean bed and a running shower, it was all she needed to get by. It was affordable and temporary which was suitable for her type of lifestyle.

It was breathtaking to look out the windowsill and have mountains greet her sight instead of a parking lot or a wall of another building. It had given her a sense of serenity. Lexa had figured that she was a bit of an urban girl after her constant traveling from city to city. It was the source of her freedom. However, she was quickly learning that being around nature and the sheer expanse of the open land was altogether something much more magnificent. It was pure and natural freedom.

The road trip was already opening her eyes to new perspectives and feelings. It served as a reminder of how much more there was in the world outside of her life. It made her feel small and insignificant in comparison. No matter what obstacles she had faced or how lost she felt, her problems will never hinder the world from continuing on with or without her. Strangely enough, she received a small comfort at the realization. It was up to her on how to deal with her own existence and how to let events impact it.

It felt like an awakening.

Lexa wanted to further open her mind and heart to the wisdom that her journey would surely offer her. She wanted to encounter every one of Earth's secrets. It wasn't humanly possible but she wanted to try and learn what she could in her lifetime. A life filled with adventure and world travel could potentially be her new purpose in life. She would love to visit other countries and expose herself to different cultures. Once she had herself figured out and her past wounds dealt with on this particular trip, she would have to seriously consider her options on what was next for her.

Lexa was getting a little too ahead of herself, though. She's only been on the road for about a week now. There was still a way to go mentally and distance-wise. There was no rush but she knew she couldn't put it off for much longer. She needed to make some sort of progress with herself and take that much needed first step. Hopefully, the first step would be the hardest part and the rest will be bearable enough to proceed through.

The time for reflection of her past would have to wait because presently there was shopping to be done. If she wanted to make the most out of the summer, swimwear and more clothes were a necessity. She had already picked out some outfits perfect for the warm weather and a new suitcase for them. Currently, she was taking a moment to ponder the phone in her free hand.

Turning away from the racks of bikinis, she opened up Instagram in the browser and logged into her long-abandoned private account. She rarely ever posted any pictures on it anymore. Maybe she would start using it again and upload photos of the incredible sights she saw for prosperity. It would be nice to have them along with her memories. Maybe she could even make Anya a bit envious for missing out on a joint road trip together.

Actually, they would have positively driven each other insane if they had gone together. It might have been fun and games at first, but eventually, the lack of space and disagreements on activities would have done nothing but frustrate them both. Anya would have wanted to do something wilder than sunbathing on a beautiful beach or enjoying the views. Lexa would have never been able to do her much needed thinking and reevaluating with Anya around.

Still, she missed her friend and hoped to get in contact again. It was the longest they had gone without seeing each other. With that in mind, she opened up her private messages and sent Anya a text.

'Anya, I think we should meet up again soon. It's overdue. I'm traveling southwest of the US via car. Where are you currently staying? Get back to me asap.'

Lexa was looking forward to hearing from Anya again. She wondered if her mentor would feel a sense of pride in her for doing a successful job of stealing a car for a cross-country road trip. However, she was not looking forward to explaining her phone relationship with Clarke to her. Anya wouldn't understand when Lexa, herself, could barely understand it. Clarke called her every day since she had taken the car and Lexa has gone along with it. It frightened her how effortlessly Clarke was getting past the cracks in her walls. She doubted that Clarke even realized just how well she was doing until about 5 days ago. After she had ventured to imagine Clarke standing next to her to share the view of the mountains, Lexa made certain to be more aloof in her calls with Clarke.

Too bad there wasn't some manual book on how to interact with a stubborn and persistent stranger that was the victim of your thievery. How was she supposed to act and feel in such an unprecedented situation?

Lexa didn't know. She absolutely hated how unprepared and uncertain she felt. Her vulnerability was showing and she didn't _do_ vulnerability. Normally she could predict and prepare for every outcome, but this once she was caught off guard. It unnerved her which was downright _irritating_.

Clarke was so very irritating.

Stupid Clarke and her unrealistic optimism.

Stupid Clarke and her constant questions.

Stupid Clarke and her cracked blue phone case that was now ringing in her hand.

Lexa glared at the vibrating and ringing phone in her hand. Her fingers gave a momentary squeeze around the case before answering and lifting it to her ear with a sigh.

"Hello, Clarke."

"Hey, criminal."

"Very original."

"What? Is that not cutesy enough for you? How about I start calling you Rebel?"

Lexa scoffed.

"God, no and I don't do cutesy."

"Why? Oh, does it put a damper on your badass rep in the criminal world?"

"What do you think we do? Sit around and share stories about our illegal doings? That we know who's who?" Lexa chuckled at the thought. "The only person that knows what I do is -"

"The infamous friend and mentor, of course. Is she aware of how much you mention her to strangers?"

"No, her smugness doesn't need any more encouragement."

"It's nice to have you taking part in our banter again. I was wondering how long you could resist it."

A pause.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, it didn't escape my notice that you've been acting like a dick for the past 4 days."

"When are you going to stop referring me to a phallus?"

"When you stop acting like one which is probably not going to be anytime soon. So, are you done with the whole tightlipped routine?"

"You tell me. Am I?" Lexa snipped.

"I think you want it to be because you sorta miss this but you're resisting because it - or I - make you nervous."

Damn her.

"Clarke," she warned.

"Sounds like I hit the mark," Clarke responded smugly.

"You can't just -" Blowing out a harsh breath, Lexa shook her head. "This needs to stop."

"And now you're panicking."

"I'm not panicking."

She was maybe panicking a little bit.

"It seems like you are. Take another breath."

To her annoyance, Lexa found herself taking another breath and felt recentered.

"You need to stop doing that."

"Doing what exactly? Telling the truth the way I see it?"

"Pushing and assuming you know anything about the way I feel. You _don't_."

"Your reaction seems to disagree with your words. Why does it -"

"No," Lexa sternly interrupted.

"No?" Clarke questioned.

"No more questions. How would you like it if I questioned you constantly?"

"Well, if it gets you to partake in our conversations a little more. Ask me."

"What?"

"If you have questions, then ask me. At least you'll get a detailed answer from me, unlike a certain someone.".

It was annoying how quickly Clarke could turn things back around on her. Anytime she thought she got the reins back, Clarke would only steal them right back and leave her scrambling like a fool.

"Did I put you on the spot? I'm sorry. Let me help you. My name's Clarke Griffin. I'm 21 years old and I am currently still in college. I was a little lost on what I wanted to pursue career-wise. I could follow in my mother's footsteps or do the opposite of what she wants and pursue art. I may decide on something else one day but right now I'm really digging the art direction I've taken. Is this where you remind me again that I'm speaking to a criminal?"

"No. I think you're well aware of what you're doing." She was beginning to believe she'll never truly understand Clarke and what motivated her to do the things she does. However, she appreciated the shift in their conversation. "An artist," Lexa curiously hummed. "What are your mediums?"

"I draw and paint mainly. Pencil, pastels, watercolor, acrylics. I tried pottery before but the misshapen mug that resulted from it didn't exactly encourage me to continue with it. I still use the mug every morning for coffee though."

Lexa smiled wistfully as a memory came to her.

"Pottery was something I wanted to take on as a hobby after my high school's art class introduced us to it. There was something about the cold clay staining my hands and watching them mold a lump of it into something useful."

"Did you take it on as a hobby?"

"I didn't get a chance to." Lexa sighed deeply as the memory turned into a sad one. "I was so consumed with... Costia, my girlfriend at the time and then not too long later, I ended up leaving what I thought was my home."

Suddenly, it occurred to her that Clarke had succeeded in getting her to share something in return. And of all things to share, she allowed Costia's name to flow out from her lips. The same name she has consciously avoided saying out loud for years.

"That sounds exactly like how a high school romance would be. I'm sorry you didn't get the chance, though. There's nothing really stopping you from doing pottery now, right? It's never too late."

"I move around too much. Maybe when I am settled down somewhere, I'll look into it."

"You should." Clarke gently urged. "I, um, I hope you realize that I am really biting my tongue here. You give me little crumbs of information that makes me curious and want to know more, but…"

"But you're trying to hold back now because I was sort of an asshole about it earlier," Lexa admitted, feeling appreciative that Clarke was trying. "Honestly, if our roles were reversed, I'd be just as curious. I guess I can't fault you for that."

"Sort of?" Clarke joked. "And I guess I can see why you would want to stay secretive."

Lexa lingered silently in consideration before responding.

"It's just that this whole situation with you is pretty unheard of and I need to stay on guard."

"I think I understand, but I promise you that the car is staying unreported. I would like to solve this between us."

"The crazy thing is I think I am starting to believe that." Lexa chuckled in disbelief. "I wanted this road trip to be memorable and I am getting that. I simply didn't expect you, though." Lexa softly muttered. "I don't know how to process you, Clarke. You're an enigma I've yet to solve."

Lexa bit her lip in thought. It hadn't escaped her notice that the tone of their conversation had completely shifted. Clarke seemed to be taken aback as she listened closely to the other end of the call. She scanned the racks and distractedly examined her swimwear options.

"Careful, that sounds a lot like a compliment, I think," Clarke chuckled nervously. "Do you really think between the two of us that _I_ am the enigma here? I'm just some girl compared to you."

"It's important for you to have some confidence in yourself, Clarke."

Clarke laughed, "Oh, I have plenty of confidence, but I am not a badass thief that gets to do whatever she wants and road trip across the country."

"You think I'm badass?"

"Of course that's what you took away from that sentence. Have you always been this sure of yourself?"

"No," Lexa grinned with a small laugh. "It took a lot of practice. I was the quiet little loner in school before I met Costia. She helped bring me out of my shell. She told me to pretend until I didn't have to anymore. It took."

"It took and gave you a humongous ego."

"Hey, now you're exaggerating."

"Nope."

"I'm really not as cocky as you make me out to be, you know," Lexa bemoaned.

"Oh, who is referring themselves to phalluses now?" Clarke cackled over the line, much to Lexa's annoyance and hidden amusement.

"Shut up, Clarke. You have the humor of a 12 years old boy."

"It's still a better sense of humor than your total lack of one, rogue."

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a quiet laugh. Clarke's random names never failed to amused her.

I think I prefer rogue over rebel so far."

"It may be my favorite name for you yet. Of course, the one thing that could top it is your actual name…"

"Uh-huh, still not giving it to you."

"Dammit," Clarke sighed.

It made Lexa smile to herself.

Clarke was stupidly cute.

It was truly unfair.

"I've been standing here talking to you while staring at a rack of bikinis for who knows how long now. I should finish what I'm doing." Lexa found herself reluctant to end the call but knew she needed to get moving.

"Oh, okay. Sorry, I didn't realize I interrupted your shopping."

"It's fine. I voluntarily let you interrupt me."

"Hmm, I think you're starting to like talking to me, rogue."

"And you claim I'm the one with an ego?"

"Nice deflection."

"It wasn't a deflection."

"Whatever you say. Hey, maybe you could send me a bikini pic," Clarke suggested excitedly.

Lexa snorted, "You wish, Clarke."

"Well, yeah. I asked, didn't I?" Clarke mumbled softly enough that Lexa nearly missed it.

Clearing her throat, Lexa ignored the fluttery feeling inside her that was suddenly begging for attention.

"Thank you for the call. I think you've given me some things to think about."

"Of course. I'm glad we could have this talk and come to a better understanding."

"We did," Lexa whispered in agreement.

After they exchanged goodbyes, Lexa slipped the phone back into her pocket and heaved a huge sigh of relief. It had started out rocky but Clarke had managed to smooth things out between them. An understanding of sorts had been reached, resulting in Lexa feeling less anxious and guarded.

She had meant it when she had told Clarke that she's given her things to think about. It amazed her that she had actually talked about Costia with someone and shared bits of her past. Granted, she didn't open up about her unfavorable memories yet, but it was still progress. Dealing with her past was one of the main reasons why she was doing her road trip. Crazily enough, she was beginning to realize that perhaps Clarke could even help her in some ways. It didn't have to be all internal self-evaluating and assessing how to repair the damage on her own. She could confide in Clarke about certain things and finally vent out everything she had repressed for years.

But should she?

She was driving a stolen car, putting way too many miles on it, and having phone calls with a stranger. Well, not a complete stranger anymore, but still. She couldn't help but feel torn between wanting to just believe Clarke and wanting to protect herself.

Lexa knew it'd be hard and she was prepared for the challenge. Her gut was telling her to let herself trust Clarke. To let whatever it was they were doing happen without all her walls up surrounding her heart. They needed to be brought down, permanently. She needed to free herself from her own defense mechanisms and baggage.

Shaking her head, Lexa finally moved to try on the new swimwear in one of the dressing rooms. Clarke's suggestion to send a bikini photo was actually tempting. Maybe she could give Clarke a shock when she least expected it and send her one.

Lexa smirked at the thought.

* * *

Hours later near Nags Head, NC, Lexa found herself sitting inside a McDonalds enjoying a food break. She has plans on visiting Nags Head, the name alone being enough to intrigue her, which was a barrier island in the Outer Banks.

Taking a bite of her hamburger, she paused slightly when the phone rang and vibrated on the table. It caused Lexa to grin after swallowing her bite as she raised it to her ear without looking at the caller ID. There was no need, she already knew who had to be calling her.

"Did you forget to add something to our call earlier?" Lexa said teasingly.

"Um, hello? I'm positive I've dialed the right number." A confused but kind female voice could be heard on the other end of the call, causing Lexa's smile to instantly drop.

"Who is this speaking? Is my daughter Clarke around? I'd like to speak to her, please."

Lexa startled upright in her seat, banging her knee against the table as she crushed the wrapper near her hand into a crinkly ball, and gaped like the careless fool that she was.

She did not just completely screw herself by simply answering the phone without looking at the caller ID, did she?

Taking a quick glance at the phone, it only further confirmed what an awkward idiotic mess she had just put herself in.

Mom.

She really did just do that.

Shit!

"Um," Lexa hesitated, her mouth still flapping open and shut for a moment in disbelief over the situation she had accidentally found herself in.

An utterly insane moment that shouldn't even be happening, ever. Talking to the mother of the woman whose car she had stolen. That just doesn't happen.

Lexa needed to rein back her control. She needed to get out of this conversation as quickly, but unsuspiciously, as possible.

Inhaling a calming breath, she released the crumbled wrapper from her hand and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't realized I answered the wrong phone, ma'am," she murmured, allowing a soft albeit nervous laugh to be heard. "I guess that's what I get for not looking at the caller ID."

"Oh," the mother drawled out. "Well, that clears up some of the confusion. Are you a friend of Clarke's? Wait, that's probably a silly question. You're no stranger to my daughter."

Hearing the voice on the other end laugh at the idea of a stranger answering her daughter's phone made Lexa anxiously bite her lip.

Right.

Such an inane thing to imagine to ever happen to someone. Not to Clarke Griffin.

Quietly groaning to herself, she forced herself to join in the laughter before clearing her throat to move the conversation to an end.

"Yeah, that's, uh - exactly, Mrs. Griffin. So, as you -"

"Enough with the politeness You can call me Abby."

"Abby," Lexa nodded, tracing invisible swirls on the tabletop for a sudden much-needed distraction. "Okay. Clarke's not around at the moment. I guess she forgot to take her phone with her."

"I see. I was hoping to catch her before she went off to classes or into one of her secluded artist moods. Did she -" Abby trailed off.

Lexa stored the tidbit of information on Clarke in mind before momentarily panicking at whatever caused Abby to pause mid-question.

Was she catching on?

Did she notice that something was off with her?

She may have only been speaking to the woman for a few minutes now but she couldn't help the feeling that she wasn't one to usually hesitate with words. Not after getting an ear and textful from Clarke. It didn't seem too far off to assume it ran in the family.

"Did you two have a girl's night? I mean, with her phone being with you at this time..."

Okay, she hadn't expected that line of questioning. Furrowing her brow in confusion at the tabletop, she scrambled to come up with something convincing.

"Yeah, yeah. We uh, just hung out and stuff last night. She crashed at my place. It was a tiring day for her."

"I can only imagine with classes, her art projects, and her wild group of friends. I'm just glad to know that she has someone to take the load off with after a long day."

Lexa hummed in response, beginning to feel uncomfortable with the fact that she'd let this conversation go as long as it had.

Also that guilty feeling had returned to nag at her again.

"How long have you two girls known each other now?"

Lexa wasn't sure, but she could've sworn that she had heard a smile in Abby's tone. Fidgeting in her seat, she knew she really had to end this conversation in the next minute because it was becoming too much for her to handle.

"I guess you can say we're fairly new friends."

"I see. Hm, that could explain why I haven't heard about you from Clarke yet. Since it's all so new." Abby chuckled, clearly amused by the topic of their fake friendship.

It was unsettling and even more confusing to hear the almost knowing tone to her laughter. She could almost imagine a scene where she was having this conversation in person with Clarke's mom, that she'd be bumping shoulders with her and grinning knowingly.

Lexa was fully aware that she could've avoided this whole confusing conversation if she had looked at the caller ID first.

"Who knows with her." She huffed out a chuckle. "Sorry, but I need to get going but I could take a message for her if you want?"

"Oh, okay, thank you. I'm sorry for taking up your time. I'm sure you have a busy day ahead of you. If you could tell Clarke that her mom would like to skype with her soon, that'd be great."

"Don't worry about it, ma'am. I'll be sure to bring that up to her."

"Thank you, and remember, it's Abby. It was nice talking to you."

"Abby, of course. You tool. Have a good day."

After exchanging goodbyes, Lexa ended the call and tossed the phone on the table to collapse back into her chair in relief. A small grunt sounded from her, making her realize she had been sitting tensely throughout the whole conversation.

A whole conversation that should've been minutes shorter than it turned out to be.

To say she was disappointed in herself and the way she handled the call was a major understatement. If she expected to keep under the radar, continue driving across the country in a stolen car, then she needed to be more cautious. She needed to not make the same mistakes as she had done just a moment ago.

If Abby had figured out that she was actually not a friend of Clarke's, and was in fact, a stranger that stolen her phone. There was no doubt she would actually report to the police unlike her daughter, who apparently thought she could handle it on her own.

At least she learned that Clarke clearly hadn't told Abby anything that had happened, which helped with the lies she had told. Abby believed she was a new friend of Clarke's. Hopefully, she would continue believing that for long enough and perhaps she'll be able to stomp down the lingering guilt over it.

Deciding it was time to take a bathroom break and head back on the road, Lexa gathered her trash after draining the last of her coffee and dumped it into the nearby garbage can. She pocketed Clarke's phone in her jeans and turned around only to bump into the solid chest of a man donning a uniform.

"Oh, sorry. Are you okay there?" the man questioned, oblivious to just how much he caught her completely off-guard.

Firm hands gripped her arms, steadying her, as her eyes took in the police badge pinned on the top left of the man's dark buttoned-up shirt.

A uniform with a badge.

She just bumped into a police officer inside a McDonald's.

"I-I'm sorry about that, officer." She muttered, attempting to hide her disbelief and fear behind a forced closed-lipped smile. "Didn't see you there. I'm fine, though, thanks."

"If you did, we wouldn't be apologizing to each other right now." The officer responded gruffly but his clear amusement softened his tone enough for her to not take it personally. A quiet sigh of relief escaped her when the officer finally released her arms.

Clearing her throat, she briefly glanced up, catching the man's eyes before switching her view out the window to where Clarke's car sat parked. She could feel her inner panic coming close to overwhelming her.

She needed to leave

"Well, I'll be sure to watch my step next time. I was just leaving. Have a good day, sir." Receiving a polite nod, Lexa edged passed the officer and exited the building out to the parking lot.

It took some restraint from Lexa to basically not sprint to the car to put as much distance as she could between her and the cop. With measured steps, she reached the car and pulled the driver's side door opened before closing it once she was seated inside. She grimaced slightly when her hand reached up to turn the ignition on, momentarily forgetting she had no key to turn.

She really needed to figure out a way to make it less obvious that the car was stolen if anyone were to ever peek inside and see the exposed wires dangling underneath the dash. Grabbing the wires, she gazed anxiously out the windshield as she entwined the correct wires together until the engine roared.

It only took a few moments before she found herself on the road again, and merging back onto the highway. Her own green eyes stared back at her as she glanced at the rearview mirror to reassure herself that the police officer hadn't followed her.

Seeing that she was in the clear, she exhaled sharply before grinding her teeth in annoyance while she pulled the car onto the bridge that would take her to the island.

How had she not noticed that a cop had been standing nearby in the same place as her? Observation and instincts to be alert to any possibility that she needed to tread around carefully had been known strengths of hers.

Lexa shook her head at herself, knowing that she had to somehow snap herself out of the tension she's been feeling. It was something that needed to end sooner than later if she actually wanted to enjoy this impromptu trip of hers. Constantly looking over her shoulders and acting unlike herself could cause actual suspicion. It wasn't what she envisioned, and she was not about to let herself ruin something that could be so good for her.

She had envisioned herself with the windows rolled down, wind whipping through her hair, a content smile on her face while blasting music that perfectly suited the adventurous mood. It was on her to take the step in turning it into a reality. With the image back in mind, she rolled the windows down in the car and tousled her hair with her hand as she inhaled the fresh air.

Turning her attention to the radio, her fingers fumbled briefly trying to find the correct button to switch it on. Finding the button, she pressed it and sat back comfortably into her seat before scanning through the channels until something grabbed at her.

At that moment, with the windows down, her hair flying behind her, a song that sang about having a ways to go, Lexa felt something inside her just crack open and her laughter soon took its place in her surroundings.

She could feel the tension leave her as she continued to laugh in such a carefree way. Tears pricked her eyes over the jumble of emotions that swelled inside her that was starting to put her mind back on track. This was what she wanted. No one, especially not herself, was going to let this moment slip through her fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Even when I can't see my rearview  
> Even if I call just to hear you  
> Even when I sleep all day (Even when I sleep all day)  
> Even if I work it like I'm times two  
> Living in the back of the bunk just like we do  
> Even when I dream all day
> 
> Don't wanna sleep tonight  
> You've got me feeling right  
> I didn't know my name, I didn't know my name
> 
> I got a little bit longer, I got a ways to go  
> I got a little bit longer, I got a ways to go  
> I got a little bit longer, I got a ways to go  
> Whoa oh oh (I got a ways to go)"
> 
> Ways To Go by Grouplove


End file.
